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Terry Deer's avatar

This is real and touching, and I know much of it is personal truth, which makes it even more powerful. I have only one suggestion. There is a disconnect between "a parent", which is singular, and "they", which is plural. You use "they" to good effect throughout this prose poem, so my first suggestion would be to change "A parent" to "parents" wherever it appears. If that doesn't appeal to you, then you could change "parent" to "mother" (or father) and use "she" instead of "they", or keep "parent" and go back and forth between "he" and "she" for each line. Sorry if this is too much information, but despite the growth of "they" as a shifting pronoun these days, in this case the lack of parallelism feels awkward. Just a thought. The work as a whole is beautifully tender.

Etya Krichmar's avatar

Thank you so much for your comment. Since it was published, I could only apply your suggestions to the original. Will do❤️

The Calculus of Me's avatar

This is an inspiring piece, Etya. I haven’t truly reflected on what it means to be a parent beyond what I learned not to be in being the son of an abusive father.

Etya Krichmar's avatar

It is sad to hear about your experience. I recently read a book “Because I remember terror, I remember you, Father.” It broke my heart. I was blessed with loving parents.

The Calculus of Me's avatar

I am so happy for you in that regard. They were the wind which keeps you flying! Sameach Hanukkah!

Etya Krichmar's avatar

Thank you s much! Happy Chanukkah or whatever holiday you celebrate🎉

Etya Krichmar's avatar

Thanks for reading. I so appreciate you!